A long time ago in a land far far away there lived a man named Joe who liked to eat salimanders. you see Joe was consittered a little abnormal but he answered with pretty normal responses on most psychology tests. So you see, like I was saying he ate salamanders. then one day he was walking through the deep dark dank jungles of Africa when he came apon a large bannana slug. The bannana slug was about six inches long and #003366. hence it's name "the bannana slug" and it was kinda, well deffenceless and not only that but spineless. Most slugs are. Back to the story this slug looked kind of appitiseing to joe compaired to all the salimanders he usually eats so he bent over picked it up and squished it all into his mouth. Then the bannana slug used it's only innate tallent and ability. It excreated its guwiee glueiee goop from its outer layer of skin which stuck Joes jaws together for close to four weeks. then it wore off but little Joe never ever ate a bannana slug ever again.

I know this seems a little silly but we, like the bannana slug also have to be willing to use all of our innate tallents when faced with our worlds joe the salimander eater!

...... And so our valleiant knight rode strait into the sun rise. No really he did. Right into it and he burned up into a crisp and was never herd from again.

The hills are alive. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Away out here they got a name for wind and rain and fire. the rain is rain the wind is wind and they call the fire fire???? Hey who wrote these lyrics. I wanna speack to my agent. doe a deer a femail deer. Ray a guy in bright orange with a gun. ME a name Ray calles himself. FA the long way the doe has run. SO the only thing Rays IQ of 3 domesticated wife cando. LA Im not following any notes in this song. TE the letter that comes between s and u. which will bring us back to the doe ***BANG*** ohh there goes Rays wothless attempt to prove his frail masculinity, domminince and self worth by killing a poor defencless animal the one day he gets a vacation from his blue caller car manufactureing lazy unmotivated existance. which will bring us back to the doe. Ohh Ohh Ohh.

so there I was sitting in my office on a cold rainy night. it was dark it was stormy and the clouds were moveing over head the big dark clouds probibly cumblio nimbus but deffinitely not sirrous there isn't enough water in sirrous to make them pour like it is now. In anycase there too high up in the stratusphere. so here I was sitting behind my vinnered plastic desk. I know its a vinnere because its to smooth and doen't smell of pine, ock, elm or berch Snuuuuuuuuuuuf no just plastic through and through. that was when the most beautiful doll I had ever seen came walking through my office door. She was seven and a half feet tall with long blond barbi hair and thin barbi leggs. Hey she would have to be a lest that tall with the barbi bild or she couldn't menstrate properly as proven by the S.S.P.W.T.T.V. (Socioty of Screwy People Who Think Their Victoms.) So she pranced into my life. I chose not to flirt with her because I know her bra and underware are part of her body and can't be removed. She was a newer moddle one that could walk that could cry and she was. "So whats your problem doll face" I asked. "Pull up a chair" which is exactly what she did with one quick gesture of her arm and a swish of her thigh she was sitting down. Then inbetween bursts of tears she scremed "I can't belive it the children stuck ken in G.I. Joe's clothes and after he was fatily wounded they tortured him in a frying pan and now my one true love is a frisby.

Since there was nothing I could do for ken I decided to pull on a suit and play house. and we lived happiuly ever after.

Sort of like the story where the hero is this really swave alcoholic, and he lived happily ever plastered.

(The scene opens on a small boy in blue overalls and a #003366 shirt singing) Ohh I wish I was an Osker Meyer Weener thats what I really really wanna be. Cause if I were an Osker Meyer Weener. (The shot backs out as two large men in white outfits pick him up and stuff him smileing and singing into one end of a large macine, the camera pans to the other end of the macine were some hot dogs come out with pices of shreaded blue and #003366 material. the camera pans back to the two beefy employiees in white who continue singing) Every one would want to eat me. (an anouncer is herd) Mmmmmm delicious.

Attend the tale of Winney Todd his skin was pail and his feet were odd. he complained about everything from the color of the sky to the way we sing this scene. Did Winney did Whinney Tood the big, butcher, barber, baby of Feet Street.

Just a spoon full of shugar helps the medicie go down, The medicine go down the medicine go down just a spoon full of shugar. "Miss poppins why do you keep shuving salt in out mouths with our cough drops and the puppy entrals you feed us every day."

Du due duo du da da da da de da da da de da dA Star date 1111112321232 first log on this the first day of our first voyage on this our pilot episode to boldly try to go or come to or from where no person has gone before. Politically Correct Trek! Exciteing, understanding smpathetic, a friend and new. I am captin Jane Smitrom Homirobi Schults Kelencov Ho and I am a left handed, one brested, lesbian, jewish single mother, who was raised in new york. "Captin I don't think its right for you to be the only one who's called captin. I personally don't like this caste system where the many take orders from the few. Much is done but feelings can be hurt because not everyone is treated the same. who is to say that your oppinion is better than everone elces why should you get to say who lives and who dies and who gets promoted and who gets fired and if we watch Evita or Gone with the Wind when we have Officer partys. This isn't just over the fact that I would prefer to have my day off on wendsday this is a question of morality, of freedom, of quolity of life, of what is right and wrong! I demand a three round doubble panneled LD debate with a Semi Final and Final Round. And if anyones feelings are hurt we can cry together then have a group session to feel their pain after wich we we decide a futher action".

Next week on Politically Correct Treck Bob will disscouss callling everyone madum rather the mr or mrs or miss or sir.

And now for a commercial break from our sponcer. Ra ra re kick um in the knee ra ra rass kick um in the..... other knee. In this so called harmless childrens rime children are forceing other children to think of the word meaning buttux, and they are jokeing about useing their feet to inflict pain on other compettitors in a sport or game so that they may win. People of the world these children need to be locked away from socioty were they can no longer hurt the world. they must either be hidden, assimilated, or destroyed vote for me Woogna of Borg for the next pesidential election. I know where your children play and what they say and I will come after them!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a small fall. But luckily he had a pairshuit and the kings horses and men were there with cussions to pad his fall. But sadly enough one of the kings men put a pea between two of the down blankets and Humpty felt then, filed a complaint, and the king beheaded the knight who did it and his whole family. This has been a message from the parrents against violence in the Grimm Fairly Tales.

a smile in the sun

is as clear as the one

I hold dear to my heart every day.

As I looked to the sky.

I had no reason why

she left me alone this way.

Rain drop on the window sile.

a clowed way up above.

a thunder stome in my eye.

and my heart was filled with love.

You never saw me crying dear. or singing songs for you.

all you knew was you loved me, and that I loved you too.

How come you always heard my word,s but you never heard what I was saying

You always heard the letters but you never heard their meanings!

I was always there for you. I wanted to be true.

I guess you mean more to me then I could ever men to you

Rain drop on the window sile.

a clowed way up above.

a thunder stome in my eye.

and my heart was filled with love.

I love you.

Where in the world are we

where in this passion called life

How can we ever find our selves here

where, are all the flowers

why dose the chill bite

how am I alone tonight

The sun is shineing the heat is strong. her love was dear as the day was long. as I sit on the curb of my fate. my feet dangle as hookless baite. Why dose the light keep puring how can the rain stop falling where can I go from here leaveing behing all that I held near. The sun is strong the day is gone the heat comes between right and wrong. as I sit here chilled and afraid the only thing I hear is seise the day.

Some say the worlds to hard for them. some say we've all gone a stray. those who say that we don't care need to see our feet are in snaires. We are the working class all the world kicks us in the ass. we are the ones who keep things on the go. too bad we can't make our salirys grow. I'm saveing up until I can retire. five days ago I was fired. we are the working class who says the caste systems a thing of the past. Punch in.. Punch out.. keep the line a movein is what its all about. I cant wait tell the wistle blows ohh it wized by anather lunch hour goes. One more day that I am a slave. theres nothing to keep us brave. we are the workin class all of the world kicks us in the ass. Untill we are six feet under the grass.

I would like to take a second to quote some very famous men. Albert Einstine, Sigmond Froud and Julius Ceaser. Now this is a quote they all said at one time or another with alot of passion and intent with a lot of determination and truth "I need to use the bathroom" now they may not have said it exactly like that word for word but they did say it with that same meaning.

Friends, farmers, corn stalks, lend me your ears. I need to make popcorn.

(to the tune of green sleaves) There was a lady with big green sleaves who lived a very long time ago. she liked to eat fruit and vegstable and lived in town near callimazoo. Ohh dearest sweet green sleaves who lived a very long time ago I know where ever you lived sometimes there was sun and somethimes snow.

What do you mean you never heard this version it was the origional. so it failed in this format and was written latter with new words that would be rememberd by all for centuries RIGHT??? ok what were the words.

I shall impersonate a man. Come enter into my imagination and see him if you will. His name? Joe the Salimander Eater. He was young not too bright but had an eye for adventure, so one day while reading the very desterbing book James and the Giant Peach. A story about a young boy who was beaten and then chose to live inside if a giant incect eaten hollowed out and slowly rotting pice of fruit. Joe reilised his true destony. He was no longer Joe the Salimander Eater but Joe the Finder of all things fruity and incect incect eaten. He layed down the meloncally (get it melon caolly) burdon of sanity, and concevied the strangest project ever imagined to become a biologest and studdy all the fruit and incetcts he found........ so what happened to Joe..... well while traviling through Mexico he knew not to drink the water but noone told him not to eat the fresh fruit and he poo'ed himself to death. (and I don't mean whinny)

So to make a long mental vommit short (too late) I would just like to leave you with these few words of wisdom.

The wonderful thing about Tiggers, are Tiggers are wonderful things. It's not the close that bind you not your toys their just beside you.. The Tommatoes are comming. It's a cook book. Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost. All's well that ends well. There are no happy endings. 42. Click you heels three times. Belive in yourself. Look over your rainbow. Never forget your towl. Don't let the ID controll you. Put me down Edipus you'll poke your eyes out Bibbity Bobbity Bo and all that Rot. Thank you and goodnight fokes.